The halls of Congress stained with bloodied hands

There's good reason why I find Ret. Maj. Gen. Jovito Palparan's wearing a barong pretty awkward. Perhaps it's just that it isn't suitable for an unrepentant butcher, who got used to wearing that diabolical black hood with a heavy hunter's axe and mounted on a pale green horse followed by Hell, or rather Gloria to avoid anyone from touching him.

But such is still credible today, given a country which is wont to commend thieves, quacks and murderers on one hand and torture honest and diligent workmen and farmers on the other, families and parents whose hearts are buried in waiting and waiting for justice until their own dusks set in and they carry that waiting to the hollows of their graves. While the hinges of reward and punishment swing in the gust of power, the balance of Lady Justice tilts in the winds coupled by the weight of bribery and threat.

Palparan's ascension to the House of Representatives is not a product of nepotism alright, but this time by the mathematical formula of party list representation. Yet having been lionized by the self-proclaimed human rights protector in her SONA what follows is the butcher's empowerment to do what his master likes best, i. e., to eliminate the stumbling blocks lying in Gloria's trail, and even possibly to cover up whatever dirt she'd left behind. Though Palparan is no longer in command of the army, he would make himself useful to the mad monarch he always sought to serve with all his soul, his willingness having been demonstrated before in bloody proportions. BANTAY, the name of his party list, sounds to my ears more like BEWARE.

I lost the wager hands down. It seems that Justice can really be bought not with the price of Truth and Wisdom but with the price of subservience and partisanship. It seems that, after all, Lady Justice is just a monument of our collective idiocy.

Kaya Jologs utang muna bente pesos na pusta ko, pambili lang naming magkakapatid ng lutong ulam bukas ng tanghali.

The Barber and God

Once there was a barber who was pretty insistent that God did not exist, claiming that if He did so there should be no suffering on Earth. His customer, a man in the early forties, listened silently by to his little speech trying to prove the idea by precedents. When the barber had just finished shaving him, the customer simply gave his bill and walked out of the shop without replying to any of the barber's arguments.

Outside, the man saw a beggar with long dirty hair. He stopped for a while, and then turned back to the barber shop.

"You know, barbers do not exist," said he.

"Can't you see that I am a barber myself?"

"If barbers exist, there would be no man with long dirty hair."

"It's just that they don't come to me," the barber retorted.

"Same with God, if you just come to Him, then there will be no suffering," he said, then walked away.

Electoral Masquerade

I cringe whenever I see the TV ad campaigns of candidates announcing their hypocritical "desire" to change the country in the face of the 2010 elections, when their term was characterized by interminable wranglings, assassinations and intrigues that sought the fall of one opponent to make way for oneself. In the previous elections so much have been said but so little has been done. Every three or six years our turbulent society suddenly falls into a deep, chimerical dream yet in the end we feel so betrayed.

The generic rhetoric of political aspirants is a play-safe strategy meant to gain praises in the event the country looses its feet off the dirt, and to keep their hands clean should our history approach a period so dark that we almost surrender under the pressure of poverty and the government's failure to protect our well-being. These are the works of knaves. Voltaire himself wrote that every chief of a sect in philosophy is a little of a quack, yet, according to him, "the greatest of all have been those who have aspired to govern."

How many times have we heard the words Change, Common Good, Betterment, Advancement and Progress? How good were these words when still after numerous terms of office the nation still lies wretched and subject to harsh economic slavery? Just recently another word was added: Godliness. Now they begin to prostitute the name of God to win power and glory when it is not theistic invocation we need but moral reintegration, and both are independent of each other? These are the terms which, as voters, we should learn to watch out; judge wisely and carefully, segregate reality from deception and authenticity from fraud. Be reminded that both the saint and the devil can utter these things.

Otherwise we deserve this rebuke:

"The man who is taken in by... promises is not much less culpable than the politician who... is certain to receive the applause of a few emotional people who do not think correctly." (Roosevelt, 1900)

Murdering the idyllic

(Photo: To be honest, this is what politicos are longing to be. Courtesy of Flicker.)

Not long ago I was riding in a jeepney enjoying the idyllic Nueva Ecija farmlands which have been pitifully reduced to meters by the now thriving but nearly-ruined resorts, hotels and some subdivisions. I was glad that the natural canopy of acacias growing on both sides of the road remained intact, for I regard traveling under Mother Nature's archway as one of the most precious scenes in my lifetime.

We were passing along a curve, and while being wrapped in my personal reflections usual during travel days I was suddenly roused by something awkward that seemed to have grown out from within the tree trunks. There was a frequency of them, one in every tree, and as I applied my sight nearer I could recognize the familiar face on them alongside a more familiar slogan.

Dammit. What was Bayani Fernando’s MMDA posters doing in Nueva Ecija?

A few days ago, as I was on the same road again passing along the same idyllic scenery, I happened to come across a funny-looking sign standing among the plentiful rice stalks. It spelled out the letters O, T, E and P into an acrostic, the meanings of which escaped me. There are also the same letters yet with a different set of meanings for the aerobics association association at the town plaza.

Otep Angeles is the mayor of Sta. Rosa, Nueva Ecija. A very productive one, I should say. But how does he differ from the others on this respect?

Just last week, as I was walking past the large bulletin frame near the main gate of our university, I noticed a strip of tarpaulin sheet printed with congratulatory greetings for the graduates. Being a graduating student myself I should have let it pass with my own warm thoughts, except that again there was something awkward in it.

Is it really necessary to have Mar Roxas smiling on that tarpaulin?

Or to put it this way, is it necessary to stamp one’s name, especially in the largest characters, or stick one’s photo in a project funded by the taxes torn away from the people’s flesh? Why should asphalt-laden roads be furnished with the shaven images of the politician, or yards of banners be stretched over the highway polluted with noise, smoke and old rotting banners, announcing that Congressman So-and-So wishes So-and-So a happy birthday? Or that Mayor So-and-So is thanking himself for making possible the accomplishment of project So-and-So? I thought we should be spending wisely in this period of economic crunch, yet why do each of our politicians throw away tens of thousands, and even hundreds of them, on large and heavy tarpaulin sheets and wooden signboards advertising, or rather bragging their names as the creators of a public infrastructure, when in fact it is their chief obligation as the servants of the people? Why, they don't even cite the people as the financiers of the accomplishment, but rather, the PUBLIC is included as the beneficiaries!.

After passing through the idyllic landscapes of Nueva Ecija’s natural granary you will be disappointed by waiting sheds, motor sheds, carpools, tents and even school gymnasia and school buildings, littered with the eye-soring graffito starring the names of persons you do not care to know when you’re at the verge of nauseating. These are the persons who want to tell you that the country belongs to them and not to you, and that you are only good for tax-paying. Even the innocent Welcome to Village Heck sign is being tagged with the name of the man who taught it better to be there aside from the directory.

Are our politicians too desperate to resort to the ways of spray paint gangsters and hot-shot vandals?

Warheads and Cutthroats

North Korea's long-range rocket had flown over Japanese territory and landed in the Pacific Ocean. The absence of facts concerning the payload of the projectile has filled neighboring countries with tension and suspicion, as everyone is anxious to find out what the Taepodong-2 was carrying. Even though the structure of what it was carrying looked like a satellite there is no guarantee that it is not a disguise. If it was an experimental communication satellite then Pyongyang failed to put it into orbit, but if it was an experimental nuclear warhead then it has succeeded in one of its tests. Either way Kim Jong-Il's scientists profited from the analytical data obtained from the Taepodong launching, an additional step towards the dreaded perfection of the hermit kingdom's nuke program.

See if Iran is anxious to see nuclear test developments.

And the Philippine Islands does not believe it will be caught in the crossfire one way or another.

*******

In other news, after the release of far relative Mary Jean Lacaba the last two ICRC captives in Jolo, Sulu, in addition to a blurred possibility of being freed immediately, are still under an imminent threat of decapitation. Abu Sayaff Commander Albader Parad demanded the government to send a negotiator so that terms of release could be properly specified. In fuck, he has long been talking with Sen Dick Gordon over the telephone. Yet Parad implied he did not care if the lives of Notter and Vagni are important. Parad also said Robert de Niro-style that the two will not go home "the way Mary Jean did."

Gruesome.

NoKor just gave me an idea. Why not build our own long-range warhead and point it at the Abu Sayaff when things are over? To blast their heads off if they refuse to disarm?

Nah. On second thought we are poor in reconnaisance technology and LGU cooperation. Why, some government officials in Mindanao just happen to be Abu Sayaff operatives!

NoKor set to open its nuclear theater?

North Korea is close to launching the rocket it claims is going to carry a satellite into orbit. The United Nations, on its feet since the reclusive nation launched its first missile Taepodong-1 in the late 1990s, fears that the latter would aim to improve its ballistic missile program by using data gathered from previous launching.

This further puts the six-party talks in jeopardy, as there emerges an uncertainty in determining what degree of sanction would better suit North Korea to discontinue its nuclear enhancement. South Korea and Japan, countries within striking distance off Pyongyang, are the most assertive of putting sterner sanctions the moment Kim Jong-Il ordered the pushing of the red button, while on the other hand Russia and China, perhaps seeing the country as a potential ally, are not sharing the same will to support any motion to impose sanctions on NoKor. Peace-seeking states are averting graver consequences as harsh punishment would inevitably infuriate NoKor while softer sanctions would do nothing to cause it to drop its nuclear program.

By this time Japan is mobilizing its Aegis destroyers northward in a move to prevent Taepodong-2 from landing on its territorial waters by shooting it down. Kim Jong-Il, viewing such intervention as a declaration of war, said that any attempt of intercepting his "peaceful satellite" would be answered by retaliation. Having seen great potential of hitting targets as distant as Alaska and Hawaii upon the rocket's completion, Barack Obama has issued a warning to North Korea saying it cannot launch a long-range missile "with impunity."

It has been a mystery as to why Kim Jong-Il must launch the missile. Some say that selling it to Middle Eastern bidders is among NoKor's prospects.

Yet it is ominous that another theater is opening. The UN, as toothless as ever, is faced with an iron wall erected by irreparable disunity among the giants in its membership. How should they proceed?

Joie d' vivre!

My sweetheart might have noticed that I was a little anxious and bothered during the past weeks, so she sent me these Joie d' vivre notes in order to recover my long-lost cheerfulness (yes, there is a cheerful part in me despite the so-serious disposition I've always exhibited at school). And guess what, they worked. The notes really made me feel better, thus I want to share them all to you. Take a little break from viewing the government of dunces under the lens of sarcasm, I hope the Joie d' vivre will bring the same effect to you too.


Joie d' vivre!

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2008.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk; smile.


Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts on things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.


Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70.
29. Try to make at least 3 people smile each day.
30.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.


Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.


Last but not the least:
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about!

Funny Captions on an Innocent Film: Hitler's Grammatical War

Many hacksters have parodied the Oscar-nominated film Der Untergang (2004) by putting diverse funny captions on the German-speaking movie particularly on this scene where Hitler finally realizes he is losing the war in his Fuhrerbunker. Many versions of rollicking captions have been put over the years, yet I find this one the most hilarious.

Video snatched from Youtube.